My Resume :)

10:54 PM Posted In Edit This 4 Comments »

RESUME


 M.VimalKochar                                                       C-53,X ‘B’ Cross
                                                                                   Thillainagar,
                                                                                   Trichy,
                                                                                   Pin code:620018

kocharvimal@gmail.com
kocharvimal@yahoo.com                                                
Phone:9025616400                                                           
                                                                                                       
  • OBJECTIVE:
                          To be a professional webdesigner n earn a lot of bucks
                          sitting at home..talents and skills..actually I don’t have
                          any other option…“What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”



  • EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATIONS:
                                                   
EXAMINATON
UNIVERSITY
YEAR OF PASSING
NAME OF INSTITUTION
AGGREGATE
                        B.Com
Barathithasan University

2006-09
Bishop heber College
Trichy

70%
                           H.S.C

State Board

Apr 2006
St.John’s Vestry higher secondary school
      Trichy

87%
                             S.S.L.C

CBSE

Apr 2004
Mahatma Gandhi centenery vidhyalaya
Trichy-8

81%


  • ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS:
·         Almost Slapped once by my teacher..

·         I had only 40% attendance and in that too 25% proxy in all my three years of college.


  • OTHER ACHIEVEMENTS:

·         I have had two dangerous accidents in my childhood.

·         I have proposed two girls for fun and they thought I was serious :P

·         I have received a best bunker award

·         Organized activities like bunks  in schools and colleges.

·         I ve made my teachers ask how come you are in college today..had too much work at home?

·         I spend 5 hours of my day in facebook and would do that in your office too if you had access to net

·         I have won Mario bros 1000 times and can play it another 1000 times also without getting  
      bored..that’s how patient I am..

·         People always blame me for irritating them with my own lyrics of the popular songs..am good at it..

·         I scare people of spending more time with them inorder to get my work done..

·         I bribed the pune for correcting my attendance and even after changing the attendance I found myself in shortage of attendance..my hod would never want to see my face again..(as if I want to see him again…phew..!@#$%%^&**()).

·         I am extra careful of the toes I step on 2day as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.(copied..I don’t have that much brain to write these on my own but it does suit me..:P)

·         People have sacrificed me for others quite a lot of times n I don’t care a damn for it now..

·         Many say am an expert in flirting.. The best thing to do when you are bored.. People like being flirted on..(I mean only girls here..Am straight)

·         Two of my classmates had 90% attendance in first semester and when he joined my group I made it reduce to 40% until they reached the last semester..

·         I have a record of speaking 8 hours continuously on phone apart from the other 3 hours I spoke with breaks in between on the same day..


  • EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:


·         Many call me a joker for my sense of humor..so I entertain people by pulling their legs

·         I ve left orkut for good reasons but facebook spoiled me once again..actually it’s the main activity of mine now..

·         I comment at people’s photos even when they don’t want me to.. that’s how irritating I am..

·         Adjudged to be a bad guy by many girls(even after having such an innocent face)

·         I have been once caught for using bad words at school just when I was in 7th standard and they made such a big fuss of it..F******..err chuck it..I don’t wanna talk about those a** h****..but hey I respect them now..what I am is coz of ‘em.. but they should grow up..that was not such a serious affair

·         I have made two lovers meet..dunno what they did after that…their personal matter..

·         I ve a reputation of being nice to people(who care) and bein an a** h*** for who don’t..


  • SOFTWARE SKILLS:

·         Operating Systems       :  Windows, Linux, people’s brains, n hearts too..
          __
·         Languages                    :  Java (learning), ASP (learning), Html, Xml, Dhtml
·         Expert in using tools     :  Yahoo messenger, Google Talk, Gmail, Firefox, Webcam,
                                       Photoshop, Dreamweaver, GIMP, Picasa and other
                                       imaging tools and various other stuffs,
·         I can type even in extreme darkness..:)
·         Can correct any bugs in windows..

  • AREA OF INTEREST:

·         Blogging
·         Sleeping anywhere
·         Theatres n
·         Talking on late-night phone conversations

  • PROJECT TITLE:

·         Design any kind of website provided you are +18 :P

  • PERSONAL PROFILE:

           
            Name                         :           M.Vimal Kochar
            Date of birth               :           24-03-1988
            Father’s Name           :           Mr.M.Mothilal
            Nationality                 :           Indian
            Maritial staus             :           Single, n never interested to mingle
                                                         but wanna fall in love with myself
            Languages known      :           Tamil, English, Hindi, Marwadi,
                                                         Sanskrit, French
Hobbies                    :            Blogging, earning money online doing anything n everything, commenting, playing badminton, cricket, table tennis and with others lives                                                          

  • OTHER DETAILS:
·         I can work all night..day time is sleeping time..
·    Responsibility makes me nervous.
·    "Number of dependents: 40." 
·    “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
·     Its best for employers that I not work with people.
 

  • DESIRED POSITION
                     Give me the ownership of your company.. I would never deny..Actually if you pay me for  
                     the most less work possible and allow me to sleep all day I have no issues..to a second thought 
                     does it matter what I want..if I have to write what I want this space won’t be enough..just for 
                    example I would love to have a beautiful secretary wearing miniskirts working under 
                    me..(err I mean at my supervision)..err let’s not get carried away and come to reality..Do I have 
                    an option..afterall you are gonna decide my position

  • DESIRED SALARY:
                   My desires are un-ending
  
         References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me                    

  • DECLARATION:

            I hereby declare that all the details given above are true to the best of my knowledge and belief.
                                                                          Yours truly,
                                                                                  M.Vimal Kochar

Place : Trichy
Date : 02.02.2010


4 comments:

ssss said...

its owesum.........11!!!!

Anwar said...

dude....wtf...
copied from me...:P

Chandrasekharan said...

Dude, great piece of work. Amazing sense of humour :) I like it a lot.. It made me ROFL on a lot of occasions like "Playing with others' lives etc.". Keep writing :)

Anwar said...

ppl....again..copied...:P
plagiarism alert...:P